Alexandria Rachel Zepeda

1988 - 2009

site update - May 8, 2014

May 8, 2014
This morning I was really thankful that yesterday passed and we all came out of it, much better than in previous years.  I had planned to write a few words here but then, I just didn't feel like it.  This morning I was reading some of the kind comments from many of you on my Facebook page and saw something my son Mikhail wrote.  

As a father with executive privilege, I thought I’d re post it here because honestly, I could have never said it better...

Five years ago today Alex was taken from us. Not from a car accident, not from a mistake or something that I could look at, touch, feel, or be mad at. She left us voluntarily. She wanted to leave.
I wanted so desperately those five years ago to be mad at something, something I could see to point my feelings at and tell it whatever it was exactly how I felt, that it took from me something that was so close to my heart.  

But sadly it wasn't that easy, I had to look inward, look at the issues that stared me in the face that were intangible. Her sadness, her fears, her addiction, all unseen things that haunted her for years while we all desperately tried to help. These things are what each and every one of us face every day. For some its easy, we look at the sun, we go to the beach, we hug our loved ones. But what I'm trying to say is what is easy for some may be a mount everest to climb in their own mind, reach out, love someone.

Anger, hate, sadness, it’s all around us in the people right beside us but yet so many times we ignore it. Please don't ignore the person next to you, don't ignore the family member, the guy at work, the long time friend who doesn't seem to come out anymore. Please be the light that that person needs to see in the world, be their sunset, be their trip to the beach, you never know who's life you'll impact or how much.
--From Mikhail Nikolai Beitz’ Facebook wall--

March 1, 2014
Today is Alex’s 26th birthday.  I think it will always be a hard day but I hope one day that on March 1, we as a family can learn to smile and even celebrate the day.  Almost 5 years later, we’re not there yet.  Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

March 1, 2013
Alex would have turned 25 today.  No matter how you plan to handle a day like today, you find you have very little control as to how it actually goes.  It's impossible not to wonder what she would have been like at age 25 and if we could have prevented what happened, what life might be like today.  

Traci and I had every intention of making today a celebration of Al ‘s life but it may still be too early.  The day has started out rough and I think letting it play out and steer through it as well as possible might be the best I can do today.

Please keep Traci in your thoughts and prayers today and thank you for for continuing to visit this site and remember Alex.

February 27, 2013
This year Traci and I vowed to make Alex’s birthday (March 1) a day of celebration instead of the tough day it’s  been over the last few years.  Of course good intensions do not guarantee results and as it turns out , today has been a rough one, for both of us.

I’m asking for your prayers and support through this difficult next couple days and if you would please remember Traci specifically.  For the last, almost 4 years now this has really taken a toll on her personally .  She really needs her friends and family support.  Please remember her on March 1 this year.  I would greatly appreciate it.

May 7, 2012
It’s almost impossible to believe that it’s been 3 long years already...

I want to thank the Sabbath Keepers Motorcycle Ministry and each one of you that attended yesterday for helping us get through this weekend.  As much as I thought I would skate through today, it didn’t happen.  That doesn’t mean, however that yesterday wasn’t a huge help, it was.  I think this kind of issue is just so much bigger than you can ever get your arms fully around and the process of healing has lots of unexpected side affects.  

Thank you again, each one of you.  Your presence and you kind words yesterday were a huge part of our continued healing and we love each one of you for your effort and for being there for us

March 1, 2012
Happy Birthday beautiful.  Alex would have been 24 today.  Please remember her and keep her in your thoughts.  Say a prayer for Traci too as this is a very difficult day for all of us but especially hard for a mother.  Thank you for your continuing and unending support.

February 15, 2012
Save the date!  The 3rd Annual Alexandria Memorial Ride will be held May 6, 2012.  You don’t have to own a bike to attend.  All are welcome and encouraged to join us.  As sad as the origination of this event happened to be, it turns out that it’s a savior for Traci, the kids and myself.  Both years we had a great time even if we did shed some tears.  To be surrounded by supporting friends and family is the best way I can think of to spend this day.  Thank you to the Sabbath Keepers Motorcycle Ministry to taking on this project and remaining faithful to it.  Click this link for details  

October 29, 2011
WE will be at the California State Capital tomorrow supporting other suicide survivors and remembering Alex as well.  Although this isn’t something we do because it makes us feel all that great, we do it because we know supporting each other helps.  We will also be raising money to fight this epidemic and save as many as possible from what so many of us had had to experience.  

If you can join us tomorrow.  We’d love to see you there.  

For more information see:  Out of the Darkness - walk -  Sacramento

March 1, 2011
Twenty three years ago today...

Traci tells me that it was a Tuesday when Alex was born.  Even though I wasn’t there, I feel like I was.  I think that days like this will always bring a certain level of pain to the surface.  I hear a lot of well intentioned folks telling us to spend the day celebrating her life.  It’s good advice because the overwhelming reminder of loss has the power of a cosmic black hole and that affect is very difficult to avoid.

I told Traci that we’d find a way to somehow make today the best we could make it but frankly I’m at a bit of a loss as to how that’s done.  Regardless, I need to find a way do it for both our sakes.

Keep us in your prayers and thoughts today.  The one thing I’ve learned is that our most valuable asset is those that surround us and help you through this ugly process.  Thank you, each one of you for standing with us through this very difficult time.

February 11, 2011
The date has been set for the 2011 Alexandria Memorial Ride .  This year it will be on Sunday May 1, 2011.  The official start point will be in Stockton, ca  at Eagles Nest Harley Davidson.  There will however be a group from Auburn/Sacramento area that will leave from the local area so we can arrive in Stockton in time for the ride.  I don’t have all the details yet but will post them here when I get them.  For more information, email me.

October 25, 2010
Last Saturday Traci, the kids and I went to the state capitol to participate in the Out of the Darkness walk for the prevention of suicide.  I wish I could somehow articulate what a profound and moving experience it was for us to be there surrounded by friends and well over 1500 other folks offering support to others  who had that had suffered a loss like ours.  It was a powerful experience.  

I took some pictures and video of the event in the hope they will give you a taste of what it was like...  take a look here.

August 19, 2010
I have managed to publish 
the first (and currently only) 
copy of Book 1 
“Alex - One Family’s 
journey the first 60 days."  
There are actually 2 books 
(currently working on the second... the first 
took 1.5 years so...). The second will be done in 
about another 60-90 days. It's called Day 67 - 450. 

No... I have no publisher and no you won't see it on display at Borders anytime soon. However... there is one on my coffee table for anyone to see and read anytime you want. 

August 11, 2010
Day 450 is online now...  
To see previous days, please visit the blog page.   If you read any of the blogs and feel you want to leave a comment please visit the Comments page .   I’d love to hear from you.  If you want to send me a private message please feel free to email me.
May 16, 2010
A big thank you to The Sabbath Keepers Motorcycle Ministry for commemorating our loss and organizing the 1st annual Alexandria Memorial Ride which has a picture page that’s online now.  This event saved my family from what could have been a  dreadful day full of horrible reminders and instead transformed it into a truly amazing event filled with healing and beautiful love.  On this page you can see the various pics taken by different folks at all points of the ride.  You can leave comments and add your own pictures that you took at the event as well.  Check this page often as more comments are made and more pics uploaded.  

The event and all its proceeds benefitted “Out of the Darkness” a program sponsored by The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.

Traci and I would like to personally thank each person that put long hours into making this idea a reality.  We had a AWESOME day!  Alex would have loved this...

For questions or tech help please email me.

March 1, 2010
Who knew the last 10 months would be so hard.  

Today is Al’s 22nd birthday.  I won’t lie... today’s harder than I thought.  

Alex loved to sleep in ... with two exceptions.  On Christmas morning and her birthday you could bet on her staring down at you when you first opened your eyes in the morning.  We’ve always kinda started each family member's special day, first thing in the morning.  So... today, this morning was understandably difficult.  

Please remember Alex today.  Take a minute and think about how she may have touched your life.  Take another moment and touch someone else in a way they won’t forget.  May God bless each one of you that have chosen to walk this difficult journey next to us.  You have made all the difference and I thank you from the bottom of my heart

August 22, 2009 
Ric Zepeda (Lance and Alex’s biological father) dies Saturday night August  22, 2009.  See for more information.

August 1, 2009 
Alex’s art work from 2005 online now! 

May 7, 2009 
Our beautiful daughter Alex passed away some time between 10 pm the night before and the morning of may 7, 2009.  I found her that morning when I walked into her room.  The next 15 minutes of that day will be seared into my brain forever.  I will carry those never to be forgotten images to my grave.  Traci, the children and I are heartbroken to say the least.  This has been a crushing experience and one that I’m beginning to see needs to be shared with others.  

Please share this site with anyone you think may benefit from its message.  

You may want to share Alex’s high school senior project (See DLS) which she and I did together over 5 years ago.  Read the page and watch the video with your teens.  discuss what you watch with them and let them them know how important this subject is to you. 

The  entire Memorial Service in the order in which it took place (links below) is now on-line.  

As the pallbearers brought the casket to the front of the church... a video played - “Alexandria Rachel Zepeda 1988- 2009”
Followed by Dan Appel’s message “Our Choice”   Keith Cordis performed his first musical vocal  “When we get Home”
I then gave My Eulogy  of Alex.  Following my Eulogy another video played.  This one was Traci given her sketch of Alex which we called, Mother’s Tribute   Immediately following was one of the more powerful moments at the Memorial Service.  Dave Carreon’s “Alex...”  told the very personal of his short years knowing Alex.  Keith Cordis then preformed “Amazing Grace” to close the service.

We are honored that so many of you attended Alex’s memorial service and burial.  Thank you so much

Thank you so much for your love, support, calls, messages, the food and all the encouragement from our Church Family, facebook friends and community.  The value of your kindness and generosity cannot be overstated and i thank each of you from the deepest place in my heart.

For any questions please contact Jonathan Beitz or Traci Beitz''s%20passingshapeimage_1_link_0shapeimage_1_link_1shapeimage_1_link_2shapeimage_1_link_3shapeimage_1_link_4shapeimage_1_link_5shapeimage_1_link_6shapeimage_1_link_7shapeimage_1_link_8shapeimage_1_link_9shapeimage_1_link_10shapeimage_1_link_11shapeimage_1_link_12shapeimage_1_link_13shapeimage_1_link_14shapeimage_1_link_15shapeimage_1_link_16shapeimage_1_link_17shapeimage_1_link_18shapeimage_1_link_19shapeimage_1_link_20shapeimage_1_link_21shapeimage_1_link_22shapeimage_1_link_23shapeimage_1_link_24shapeimage_1_link_25

page visits as of May, 20111
Video stories 
written and edited by 
Jonathan Beitz 

Special thanks to:

Walter Garcia 
Video camera operator

Eddie Van De Pol 
Video Camera operator

Don Dyer Jr. 
Still photography

click play button to see movie.

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